Electronic mail was a great invention. I use it all the time to stay in touch with people I have met all over the world, as well as people from home when I’m away. In my e-mails I ask my parents for money, discuss personal things, send myself files, et cetera. Because of that, I feel, and I think many others feel, that e-mail is a personal thing. That is, it is like a diary or a journal. You are not to read it without permission, and if you do, you can’t get mad at the person for what is written in it.

Now, I know it is trivial to break into someone’s e-mail account. For instance, at my place, people often check their e-mail and then forget to log out. This is even more likely to happen if you’re in a relationship with somebody since they’re (ideally) more comfortable around you. However, just because it is EASY TO DO, doesn’t mean you SHOULD DO IT.

Why am I so frustrated by this? Recently, two separate people told me stories about how their significant other broke into their e-mail, found something they didn’t like in it, and bitched them out. That’s right. And not only that, the person who had their privacy invaded didn’t seem to think this was the gross invasion of privacy that it was. They were more worried about the fact that the significant other was upset at them. What the fuck is wrong with people? First of all, if a girl I was dating ever broke into my e-mail, I’d be incredibly angry with her. I don’t care what she found, if she didn’t trust me enough that she was snooping in my shit, I don’t know if I’d still want to date her.

This brings me to the question of relationship privacy. I understand that people who are dating are (theoretically) close. But, just because you are dating someone does not give you a carte blanche to go through their personal shit. My own rule is that if they want me to know something, they’ll tell me. If you ever feel like they are cheating on you, or that they’re hiding something from you, then you don’t fucking start looking through their e-mail. No, if you are having those feelings, then you don’t trust your partner. In that case, you have two choices: a) break up with them, or b) shake it off, and don’t worry about it. You can’t have a relationship unless you implicitly trust the person.

So now you’re probably thinking, Cameron, what if they are cheating on you. Well, first of all, sucks to be you. Second of all, it’s a trade-off. Sure, by trusting your partner not to cheat on you, you are leaving yourself open to be cheated on. However, the alternative to this is much worse. And I’ve seen it a few times. Not trusting the person you are dating is incredibly straining to both people in a relationship. Why is it straining? Because having someone constantly cross-examining your movements is no fun. Moreover, it hurts when someone you really care about won’t trust you. Not only that, it’s pointless. There is essentially NO WAY to stop someone from cheating on you if they’re going to unless you are always with them. If someone is going to cheat on you, they’ll do it regardless of how vigilant you are.

So, to re-iterate, e-mail is easy to break into, but don’t do it. Trust your boyfriend/girlfriend, or don’t date them.