Well I’m pretty tired but I want to record my thoughts with respect to my first real job (i.e. job were my work is actually pretty important.) Yesterday afternoon I drove out to London, Ontario to meet my summer employer Wayne. I was really quite sure what they did but after receiving a three hour product tour, I was pretty familiar with what it was and who would buy it. They’ve actually done some pretty neat stuff with it.

Anyhow, after the product demonstration, the four of us went out to dinner at some restaurant whose name escapes me. Considering I had only eaten two bananas and two NutriGrain bars that day, I was starving. We ordered food, ate, exchanged stories and whatnot and then headed off to a bar/entertainment place for eighty billion games of pool and a couple more pitchers of beer. This is information not crucial to the story. More stuff happened and I came home.

For some reason I’m feeling really weird about getting a real job. It reeks of responsibility and growing up and something I’m really not terribly excited about. I was excited when I heard I got the job but now the euphoria is fading and I’m terrified. Not so much about how well I can do it but more over what it means. Is this what I want to do in the future? I’m quite certain there’s a resounding “no” to that answer. I mean, the product they’re making is very good and I’m not knocking it or anything, but they’re not forwarding the human race or existence in any way. I guess I always figured that I’d be doing something like that. I mean, if I go to graduate school and eventually get my Ph.D. then I’d be doing something along those lines, right? I think this experience may be pushing me that way.

In the meantime, I’ll try as hard as I can do push myself to the limits (within its limits) with this project :)