Well looks like it’s time for my periodic journal update. Not a whole lot of spectacular shit going on in my life right now, but what do you expect? It’s the summer! Strange, how when you were younger, everything exciting happened in the summer because school was a pretty big drag (up until the later years of high school were I actually learned some things mildly interesting.) Now, I can’t wait to go back. It’s kind of funny, actually. I believe I was conversing with Colin and for some reason forgot that we had the month of August (a common mistake, I assure you) and mentioned something along the lines of:

Cameron: “Oh look, it’s June, only one more month after this until we get to go back to university.” Colin: “Fool! There still exists the month of August, increasing the time total to the numerical value of two.” Cameron: “Heavens! My face surely is red now!”

Following this I was saddened. I wanted to get back and party like it’s… well… like it’s my second last year of the best four years of my life. Oh well, there are two other major-ish events on the horizon for me. These are:

  1. Cameron’s Swiss friend Linda visits. Haven’t seen her in about two years. This event takes place on the 13th of July.
  2. Cameron goes to Brazil for two weeks to see his friend Paulo.

I believe I’m more excited for the latter, but the first should still be fun.

I watched “Punch Drunk Love” tonight with the progenitors. Good flick. Sandler nailed the part nicely. The good thing was that it actually had a happy ending, which fits nicely. I was afraid they’d do the typical “We don’t want a happy ending because that’s cliche” cliche. Definitely recommend it to anyone who is into the not-so-mainstream scene. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is so-called “weird” but in a good way.

Been taking up Python lately because hadn’t had much work from the boss. He called me today and we talked for like an hour while he outlined what I had to do for the next two weeks while he was gone. Mostly converting MS Jet (ADO) syntax to Oracle (0040) syntax. Very exciting shit. The boss is actually quite a bright guy and we get along very well. But back to the Python. The main reason I’m learning it for my latest and greatest web application… which is top secret at the moment :) It’s the first project where I’m actually writing a design doc and spending a hell of lot of time thinking about the best way to implement it. I’m quite proud it so far and expect to begin some preliminary coding in about two weeks.

On the thought front, been thinking an awful lot about death again. I still remember that time I was stoned off my ass while Paul was driving like a maniac in the ‘lude when the awareness of my mortality became quite clear to me. Now I can’t get it out of my mind. I go through lapses where I don’t think about it for a day or two but it keeps coming back. I guess every philosopher, even hack ones like me, have their so-called “project” and this is mine, whether I like it or not. I suppose in a sense I’ve had quite a bit of insight over these couple of years I’ve been thinking of it.

More and more I become more comfortable with the reality that one day I’ll die. I used to get really scared about it, terrified even. I asked everyone I knew what they thought happens and there’s quite a range of answers. My intuition tells me that I’ll just cease to exist, pretty much how I had ceased to exist before I was born. A troubling thought, non-existence. I suppose I won’t really care since I won’t exist but I care. I like this living thing quite a bit. I talked about it with Rev last time I was in K-Town and mentioned that I thought that maybe consciousness existed after death. He disagreed, saying pretty much that we didn’t exist after death. I can’t disagree but… well I don’t think that’s the whole picture. I don’t disagree on the basis that it’s too simple but I just don’t accept that as “it”. There has to be better theory. And not life after death or heaven or any of that rot.

Time to get back to Python…