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Why is it people don't want to think?
Why is it people don’t want to think? And I don’t mean thinking like “should I wear a scarf today?” I’m talking about thinking of pretty much all thought possibilities beyond small talk. For instance, twice this year I have been speaking with individuals at bars, and naturally you start off with the simplicity of small talk.
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Electronic mail
Electronic mail was a great invention. I use it all the time to stay in touch with people I have met all over the world, as well as people from home when I’m away. In my e-mails I ask my parents for money, discuss personal things, send myself files, et cetera. Because of that, I feel, and I think many others feel, that e-mail is a personal thing. That is, it is like a diary or a journal. You are not to read it without permission, and if you do, you can’t get mad at the person for what is written in it.
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Memories
Memories. You gotta love ‘em. Well, you gotta love making them. And then looking back on them fondly, that’s good too. But looking back on them longingly, well, that can be good and bad.
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Cottage
Just got back from the cottage about an hour and a half ago. Good times, though the weather could’ve been better. This Wednesday Greg, Farron, Alex (maybe?) and I are heading out east for Canada Day to party. Somehow in the middle of all this I have to get some work done. However, I’m not feeling particularly motivated today, probably because of the substance abuse this weekend.
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The Future
The future. Ah, the future. We’re always looking towards it, sometimes with dread, sometimes with anticipation, sometimes not for long. But we all have one, and many times we influence the future of others. And it seems every once and a while I have to give it more than the usual passing thought. What is in the future for me? What am I really going to be doing exactly a year from now? Will I be in a good mood? Will I be in a relationship? Will all the significant people in my life be alive? Will I have new friends?
But nothing is certain, right? Well, not really. I mean, there are some certainties. Like death and taxes, hahahaha. No, but honestly, by the very statement that “nothing is certain” is giving a certainty. That is, that we are certain that nothing is certain. So then something is certain. Thus, if the statement is true, then it is false. Kind of like “this statement is false.” However, can’t you get around that problem by just saying “nothing is certain except this statement.” Is that cool? Is some logician, somewhere, bashing his head off his desk in frustration? I certainly hope so.
So, I’ve finally heard from all the graduate schools. The offers, in order of goodness, go Queen’s, UVic, Dal. Queen’s offered me a spot, along with guaranteed funding. However, I just finished a degree at Queen’s and not really keen on going back. At UVic I’d have to work with the professor I corresponded with and get no funding, but could make around $6000 a term TAing and live across the country. Dal accepted me, but for the program I didn’t want. An Applied Masters. In essence, it’s like a technical MBA. Why would they do that, when I applied for a research masters? According to their graduate school secretary, the “committee” decided I would be better suited for it. Well, you know what the “committee” can do? Evaluate more applications. Ohhhhh!
Oh well, that’s it for now.
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Loose Ends
Well, I’m now officially an engineer. This past weekend was spent in Kingston indulging in hedonistic practices such as smoking copious amounts of marijuana, drinking beer and eating whatever my stoner mind desired. Oh yeah, and I was convocated too.
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Disagreeable Thoughts
So I’ve been thinking lately. Some of the things I think about make me feel a little down, some of the things I think about elate me, some of things I think about piss me off and some of them terrify me. The point I’m trying to make is, I don’t just think happy thoughts. In fact, I’d say the around 80% of my thoughts are disagreeable to me. But I still think about them. And why not? Why should I stop any line of thinking just because I don’t like what it’ll lead to. Why should I be willfully ignorant to facets of my imagination just because they may not make me happy?
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Daytona Beach
This is an entry from February 20th, 2005 from the car:
We’re on our way to Daytona Beach in Florida. We’re entering roughly our ninth hour of driving, and our third driver. Conditions are semi-dangerous, as it is raining pretty hard and this car isn’t the greatest at handling in good conditions, but I think we’ll make it.
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The Indescribable and Unknowable Events of Life
This is probably going to be a short one. And it pertains to how indescribable (is that the right word?) and unknowable the events of life are. Things can happen that make you rapidly redefine things that you were so pessimistic about. A hope, dimmed due to dust and wear and tear over the years, shines brightly again. You write vague poetic sentences in your LiveJournal.
I think I’ll leave it at that.
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Happiness
Happiness. Seems to be a struggle for a friend of mine lately. She seemed frustrated and unhappy, and told me she almost wished she could never second guessed herself, and that she could be ignorant and just be happy with what she had. An example she used was people of faith, who just believed what their faith said without question. She told me they seemed happy.
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